The sick note, song

Bernard McEleney (Conn), singing in English
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Dear Sir I write this note today to tell you of me plight
For at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue my face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say why Paddy’s not at work today.

While working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear
But to throw them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased he is an awkward sod
He said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod.

Now cleaning all these bricks by hand it was so awful slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in me haste to do the job I did oversee
That a barrelful of building bricks was heavier than me.

Now when I untied the knot the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket ‘til to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Now the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head
Clinging tightly to that rope from that almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half its bricks fourteen floors below.

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and I started down once more
Clinging tightly to the rope my body rightly pained
And halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again.

Still holding tightly to the rope I sped towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round.

I lay there groaning on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley-wheel and then the bottom burst
A  shower of bricks rained down on me I hadn't got a hope
As I lay there moaning on the ground I let go of the bloody rope.

The barrel it now being heavier it started down once more
And it landed right across me as I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today.

see also   The sick Note / Packie Manus Byrne