The wedding invitation, song

Michael Devlin (Mack), singing in English
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I got an invitation to a spree the other night
And there were so many at it that we hadn’t room to fight
So we all sat down to supper and a proper feed we ate
There was everything and anything and nothing on the plate.

There were people there that evening they were a mighty lot
There were some who were invited and some who were not
There were mothers-in-law brothers-in-law aul’ maids and young ones too
Who were packed as close as kippers in a Gaelic Irish stew.

There was skinnymalink McGuinness there was bandylegged McQuaid
Whose underlip would hold about a quart of lemonade
There was ‘dainty’ Dan from Dublin with a moleskin cigarette
And a Polish Jew from Portadown with whiskers in a net.

Well after we had feasted 'til there was no more to eat
To have a dance we grease the floor with a pound of sausage meat
We’d a band of music too a whistle and a drum
The conductor wasn’t there because he wasn’t asked to come.

The band struck up some music in the most discordant strain
I’d sooner suffer martyrdom than hear them play again
They played a set of lancers and a set of aul’ time reels
But the floor was so uneven we were dancing on our heels.

But Hegarty the vet tramped on Miss McKenna’s corn
Which made her yell with agony and wished he’d never been born
When he went to beg her pardon arrah hold your tongue she says
If the police find you begging sure they’ll fine you thirty days.

McGurk began to sing a song his throat he nearly burst
He started with the second verse and finished with the first
Seven times he sang the chorus so with that we had enough
So we knocked him down and blinded him with two pence worth of snuff.

We drank good health to bride and groom and wished them both good speed
And hoped they’d have more children than they’d be fit to feed
We all came home together as the sun began to rise
So I’ll say no more about it for I’m tired of telling lies.