The royal rats of Carn, song

Paddy Tunney, singing in English
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Come all you gallant rodents that wander far and near
That shake a scut or crack a nut or bark a tall oak tree
Your brothers near Trawbrega Bay are threatened in their warren
Leave friends and spouse and rush to rouse the royal rats of Carn.

It happened on a Sunday night not many moons ago
When Dervishes from Donagh fair went dancing near to Doagh
On their return their hearts did burn and quake with great alarm
For royal greys from Grianan Fort did hold their house in Carn.

The council sent a hero down no piper pied was he
But practised on the pipes of Pan and filled the rats with glee
They would not rout nor yet get out but deeper in they bored
Cuchulainn bade them oíche mhaith and vanished in his Ford.

With deep dismay these rats did say no bloody spear he’ll show
But grinning ghoul of weapon that Coote used on Owen Roe
And phosphide fume will spell our doom where council men are tarring
In shugh and ditch and boiling pitch will die the rats of Carn.

They mailed an invitation out to Monty of Moville
Who nobly sent his desert rats to die on Long Stop Hill
Who burrowed in Bengazi sand near Bardia bleak and barren
To comes and lead a nobler breed the royal rats of Carn.

He sent them back a curt reply and said he couldn’t join
He might disturb a Billy Boy who battled at the Boyne
Such tales of Irish rebel rats were sure to cause alarm
B Men and guards would fill jail yards with the royal rats of Carn.

They boldly did reply to him to be of great good cheer
The council had no desert fox to nip him in the rear
In days of yore a Billy King was monarch of their warren
They would resurrect the conqueror to lead the rats of Carn.

The rodents mustered up their might old grey beard stern and tough
They came from every slaughter house from Malin Town to Muff
They surged up from the purdy pits the trade of war to learn
Upon that day the troops in grey scared the folds of Carn.

The rabbits sent a wise old buck to pledge and promise aid
Their movement being underground no troops would they parade
But bearded wheat in droves they’d eat in raid both bold and daring
And field mice too would help to chew the hard grain stored in Carn

A squirrel with a bushy tail from the woods about Drumboe
Declared they’d battle overhead while rabbits bored below
They would attack the healthy lines of spruce and sitka tall
And take the life of every tree in royal Donegal.

The rats revealed their master plan to fortify the gates
They would invade the Lagan and raise the council rates
If Major Chance would but advance they’s occupy his barn
Potato markets they’d control the royal rats of Carn.

The clarion call rang loud and high from Derry to Culmore
And Norway rats from Baltic ships like Vikings swarmed ashore
Emblazoned on their shining shields were names like Grant and Farren
So forward to the barricades o royal rats of Carn.