The cow that went astray, song

Michael McLoughlin, singing in English
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Well come all you good people and listen to me
And I’ll tell you a tale of a comical spree
It’s about an oul cow that I hear them all say
For drinking strong whiskey her head went astray.

From the first week in November ‘til the last in October
There wasn’t a market day this oul cow come home sober
She was aye drunk on Friday on Saturday sick
And she never give milk more than two times a week.

Then she’d join with the temperance for a month or two
And she lived with her people like a cow ought to do
But she went down to Strabane without any control
And for her bad conduct she got the black hole.

On the way to Strabane to the rest she did say
Now boys we’ll be steady we’ll booze none the day
We’ll not spend our money on brandy or beer
But we might take one half one to greet the New Year.

She went in to Strabane marched up to Abercorn Square
For many’s the old relative she had met there
It was cead mile failte a thousand times o’er
And she saw cruinne coos there she ne’er saw before.

They asked for to treat her she couldn’t refuse
The next time I saw her she was mad on the booze
I saw her up standing where she was the fool
She was arguing the toss with big Peter McCool.

Then to arguing about politics they did start hard and tight
The next time I saw her she proposed for to fight
The way she cursed and she swore it was a damn shame
Then at his big body her horns she did aim.

But the sergeant came in and got her by the tail
Saying for your bad conduct I’m sure you’ll get jail
For such cursing and squabbling I’ve never seen before
But I’ll put you now where you’ll squabble no more.

He took her away threw her in the black hole
And he tied her securely her strength to control
And when she came round not a damn one would speak
But an oul horny bullock that come from Belleek.

Well he told her history then she did the same
And then with a hiccup fell into a drain
She dreamt she was grazing away down in the bog
And she thought she heard Kennedy calling the dog.

The moor cock was crowing with a cleg on her flank
She dreamt she was grazing down on the turf bank
And then she awoke saying I’m mighty cold
No but wonder said the bullock you’re in the black hole.

Now when she heard this she commenced for to rail
Saying if I had my will these oul walls I would scale
Hold your tongue said the bullock say nothing a bha
When you’re in the black hole you might abide by the law.

In the magistrate’s court she appeared the next day
With a clout on her horns as I hear them all say
With a clout on her horns she was a disgrace
To see a cow like her being in such a strange place.

Well the magistrate laughed ‘til I thought he would bust
However my girl I do my best to be just
With all your tumbling and tossing sure you might have been lost
However I’ll fine you and one shilling cost.